Mongering Some Gossip

The real reason I bought the National Enquirer at the supermarket yesterday was to read the article "40 Way to Be Richer Next Year." I don't think I had ever bought a supermarket tabloid before, although I might have bought the issue in which I appeared 10 years or so ago. I am against gossip mongering since the Bible says gossip mongerers will spend eternity in hell, along with people who call their brothers fools. I don't want to stretch the count to two strikes, so I stay away from gossip mongering.

But when I discovered that the first tip on "40 Ways You Can Be Richer Next Year" is "Make sure the coils on your refrigerator are clean and dust-free" and the second tip is to "Skip Blockbuster or Netflix for your home movie entertainment," I was about to throw the magazine away, when it sort of happened to fall open on the article, "Sarah Palin's Dark Secrets: Affair That Nearly Ruined Her Career; How She Tried to Cover up Teen Daughter's Pregnancy; Family War That Exposed Her Lies." I am pretty sure that if I had bothered to read the other 38 ways you can be richer next year, one of them would have been, "Don't Throw Away, Without Reading, Trashy Tabloid That You Have Already Paid For," so I went ahead and skimmed the article.

So, here's what it said about the affair. In toto. "Another incredible allegation emerging from the family war is that Palin, a mother of five, had an affair with a former business associate of her fisherman husband, Todd. Todd discovered the affair and quickly dissolved his friendship and his business associations with the guy," charges an enemy. "Many people in Alaska are talking about the rumor and say "Todd swept it under the rug."

What?? That's it? I can find out more by reading The Smoking Gun, which has copies of a motion by a former Palin business associate, Scott Richter, to seal his divorce files. (Not that his divorce files contain any salacious details, he just wants the files closed so reporters won't have access to his telephone number and keep calling him.)

You probably already know about another Palin lie; that she sold the Alaska government jet on e-Bay, further embellished by John McCain that she made a profit on the sale. She didn't. As the Chicago Tribune and many other news outlets have reported, she listed it; got one bid and finally sold it through a broker (who happens to be a donor to her campaign) at a loss.

Oh well. If anyone has even one idea on how to be richer next year, let me know, I need all the help I can get. I've been investing in the Bush stock market the last eight years. But please don't tell me that if we get four more years of Republican economics, I would be better off burying my money in a coffee can in the back yard. I already know that.