Friday, June 01, 2007

I Got Them Wedding Blues - Part Two

I remembered again tonight why I talked my bride into a small family only wedding in the back yard when we got married 36 years ago. It was all those picky little etiquette things that no ordinary amount of common sense could possibly get right.

I picked up the mail tonight and saw it included a "regrets" RSVP from our next door neighbors. We see and talk with them almost every day. They're good neighbors and nice people. We have left our house keys with them when we're going to be gone in case someone needs to get into the house. We pick up their newspaper and hold it for them when they're going to be gone. The Wives consult each other on plants. The Husbands consult each other on how to get out of yard work. We are completely friendly with each other -- no formality.

So, I remarked to The Wife when I brought in the mail, "This is odd, Joann sent us a 'Regrets' in the mail."

The Wife looked at me uncomprehendingly, "So?"

"Why would she mail us her regrets instead of just tell us, or hand us the card?"

Indignantly, "That's not how you do things."

"We didn't mail the invitation to them instead of handing it to them, did we?"

"Of course."


The mail man literally goes from our mailbox to their mailbox. But I doubt that he is allowed to just pick up the invitation from our box, drive 20 feet and put it in their box. No, Emily Post would object. He has to pick up the invitation, take it to the processing center five miles away, dump it in the postmark machine, sort it, take it back out to his truck and then drive past our house to the neighbor's house and put it in their box, reversing the process when they RSVP. Anything simpler would be impolite.



rdl said...

Crazy but oh so polite.

gerry rosser said...

All this kind of goofy "etiquette" strikes me as idiotic. Whether classified as "traditional" or whatever, it is a waste of time and energy. And don't even get me started on the titanic waste of money large, expensive weddings are. Any parents (or couples) who go into debt to put on a wedding are ...searching for a kind, but appropriate word here...fools.

Anonymous said...

How interesting. Just this past weekend I was at my neighbor's dining room table helping the family with the preparation of wedding invitations. We actually discussed the proper way that their invitation to my husband and me should be properly addressed for the occasion, being that we use different last names ! Crazy. Having returned home from that task I will be waiting for our invitation to arrive in a month so that yes, I can return our little RSVP card. Crazy indeed.