So, Floyd Landis Is Not An Amish Liar

We strive for truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I have been convinced by several sources that I was wrong in calling Floyd Landis an Amish Liar.  Neither he nor his parents were ever Amish.  They were extremely conservative Mennonites.  So, Floyd Landis is a Mennonite Liar. 

And, it turns out that Spark Plug McGee, the stripper who broke up Sandra Bullock's marriage was never Amish either.  She wasn't even Mennonite.  She was just a sleazy publicity hound who thought she could extend her 15 minutes of fame by claiming she was Amish.  But, apparently she did not lie about having sex with Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James.  And he wasn't Amish or Mennonite either.

So there.  Let it never be said that I am too proud to admit my mistakes.

Book Report: "Following the Equator" by Mark Twain

Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World by Mark Twain


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I feel sorry for folks whose exposure to Mark Twain is limited to Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.  Although those are good books, I really love his travel writing.  Following the Equator is not a book you would want to read to find out the best route to take, the best places to eat and sleep or what to see.  But, it is a book to read if you enjoy sardonic humor, with Twain's wry comments about what he sees.  One surprising thing to me, given Twain's causal use of racial slurs is his outrage at how the whites in South Africa were treating the blacks, which he linked to how Americans treated native Americans.  But the reason to read Twain these days is that he is still so funny.  Here's a passage about the clothes he saw the Boers wearing in South Africa:

A gaunt, shackly country lout six feet high, in battered gray slouched hat with wide brim and old resin-colored breeches, had on a hideous brand-new woolen coat which was imitation tiger skin-- wavy broad stripes of dazzling yellow and deep brown.  I thought he ought to be hanged, and asked the stationmaster if it could be arranged.  He said no; and not only that, but said it rudely; said it with a quite unnecessary show of feeling.  Then he muttered something about my being a jackass, and walked away and pointed me out to people, and did everything he could to turn public sentiment against me.  It is what one gets for trying to do good.

Floyd Landis: An Amish Liar

Having grown up Amish, it is no big shock to me to find out that Amish(and conservative Christians generally) are not morally or ethically superior in any way to their more worldly neighbors. But Amish, in particular, have such great public relations that the world, in general, is surprised to find out their values are just like everyone else's. So, Floyd Landis, the ex-Amish bicyclist, whose parents took such care in raising him that they shielded him from such corrupting influences as television and movies, turns out to be as big a liar as the worst beer-guzzling, couch-potato, porn-movie watching atheist.

Landis, you may recall, was stripped of his title, after winning the 2006 Tour de France, because evidence of doping turned up in his post-race blood test. Landis has spent the last four years defending himself; soliciting contributions to a fund to sue the Tour de France for stripping him of his title; turning up on television (as recently as several weeks ago on Larry King Live) to proclaim his innocence.

Now, a few days ago, he admits it was all a big lie.  But, he says, he was not the only one.  Everyone else was doing it too, including his former teammate and best friend, Lance Armstrong.  I have no idea whether everyone else was doing it too, but I sure wouldn't take Floyd Landis's word for it.  He's an admitted liar.  The best thing for Landis to do is to go back to Pennsylvania, and help his father clean out the barn.  He has proven he is an expert at shoveling manure.  And he won't need any dope to enhance his performance.

Book Report: "The Facts," by Philip Roth

The Facts: A Novelist's Autobiography by Philip Roth


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
The "facts" part of this book, purportedly the autobiography of Philip Roth is not that interesting. Roth focuses on five events in his life, but leaves out so much that you wonder why he bothers. But then Roth has his alter ego, Zuckerman, comment on and criticize what he has written. That is very interesting, as he considers the difference between fact and fiction and explains how fiction can be more truthful than fact. What the book comes down to is not about the facts of the life of Philip Roth, but an interesting exploration or truth and fiction. The last Zuckerman chapter brought my rating of the book up from three to four stars.

Book Report: "Once on a Moonless Night" by Dai Sijie

Once on a Moonless Night by Dai Sijie


My rating: 2 of 5 stars
I really wanted to like this book. I like Sijie's "Balzac and the Chinese Seamstress." My wife likes the book and recommended it for our book club. But I just couldn't get into it. I re-read the first 20 pages about three times trying to make sense of it. Names pop up without any introduction and then when they're mentioned again, I had to go back and try to figure out who that character is. There are essentially three narrators, and the point of view keeps shifting without warning. After I finally got through the book, I went back and read again the first 100 pages and now it makes sense. But the payoff doesn't warrant the effort. I'm sorry Rosalee.

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Book Report: "Bridge of Sighs" by Richard Russo

Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I am not a big Richard Russo fan. Another reviewer has called him narcissistic and that's how I felt about "Nobody's Fool." But this is very nearly a perfect book. The characters are drawn with care and the author makes you care about them. The characters change over time, but all within what is credible for that character to do. Russo is a master at revealing information slowly and at using multiple points of view to keep the story interesting. It is a long book, one that you wish would be longer. My most frequent complaint about books I read is that a perfectly good book is ruined by a hokey, unbelievable ending. The ending in this book is bittersweet; not too sentimental but overall leaves the reader feeling good. A perfect ending to a nearly perfect book.

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JACK Report: Mixed with a little Swedish

JACK is hip. Somebody at the University of Oregon mixed some excerpts of JACK with Komeda, a Swedish pop/indie band. It sounds cool.

Crockhead Report: I Survived Ebertfest

Some day soon, I will blog about my experiences at the 12th annual Roger Ebert Film Festival in our town last weekend. I promise. I'm still recovering from sleep deprivation. In the meantime, if you are a fan of JACK Quartet, or are wondering what they sound like,WNYC is streaming them live this afternoon at 2:30 EDT, 1:30 CDT. Unfortunately, I will be on the road and unable to listen. Let me know if you listened and what you think.

JACK Report: "Mind-Blowingly Good"

I have been telling anyone who would listen that the JACK Quartet is going to blow LA's mind (minds?) when they hear the concerts they were doing last night and tonight. I was right. Here is the review from today's LA Times. I am unabashedly, unashamedly proud. These young men are going places. (The photo was taken through night vision glasses of Kevin McFarland, the cellist, by LA Times photographer Gary Friedman)

JACK Report: Darkness in LA

As I have previously reported, JACK has two sold out concerts in Los Angeles last night and tonight. I've been breathlessly waiting for reviews. The first one is up now at this link. It's a very perceptive review.

Prove You're Not An Idiot, Mayor Schweighart

This is a video of the mayor of my city at a Tea Party rally on Thursday. He is a retired police officer and should know better than to say something this stupid.



In today's local newspaper, the Mayor defended himself by saying that he was asked for and gave his opinion. As The Wife has pointed out, whether President Obama is a citizen is not an opinion, it's a question of fact. Mayor Schweighart can't produce his original birth certificate either, it's in the custody of the Champaign County Clerk and will stay there no matter what Mayor Schweighart does. The only thing the mayor can do is the same thing Obama did; produce a copy.

So, here's my opinion, Mayor Schweighart. You're an idiot. Until you produce the original IQ test showing you're not, you're not qualified to be mayor of my city.

Here's a tongue-in-cheek YouTube video produced by someone making essentially the same point.

You Were Right, Professor Allen

The announcement this week of the retirement of John Paul Stephens from the United States Supreme Court brought to mind a Messiah concert I attended at the University of Michigan the first Sunday in December, 1974. I was brought up in a family with no knowledge, indeed, scorn, of classical music. My in-laws, however, loved classical music and had made it a family tradition to make the two and one-half hour trek every December from Bay Port to Ann Arbor to hear Handel's Messiah.

In December, 1994, I was in my first semester of law school at the University of Michigan and was taking a criminal law course under the legendary Francis A. Allen, a former dean of the law school, author of a definitive textbook on criminal law and principal author of the Illinois Criminal Code of 1961. I discovered as the concert was getting started that we were sitting directly in front of Professor Allen.

I was a shy, young student, awed by the professors and my peers at the law school, intimidated from opening my mouth in class. So, all through the first part of the Messiah, I worried about Professor Allen sitting behind me. He probably didn't even know me, I was in a large section of about 100 students and he had three sections of first year students; I had never been called upon or spoken in his class and he would probably never know the difference if I just pretended I didn't know who he was and ignored him. On the other hand, he was very bright and what if he did recognize me and would be offended if I didn't speak to him.

When intermission came and everyone stood up to stretch, I bravely turned around, offered my hand, introduced myself and told him I was in one of his first year criminal law sections. He was very gracious, didn't act like I was a stranger, but it quickly became awkward standing there facing each other with nothing really to say to each other, but unable to walk away.

Out of the blue, Professor Allen started talking about John Paul Stephens, whom Gerald Ford had just nominated for the Supreme Court. There was concern in the legal community because he would replace Justice William O. Douglas, who had established himself as the leading liberal, probably of all time, on the court. Would Ford's pick, a relatively unknown Republican, undermine all the good work the Warren court had done in the area of privacy, civil rights and criminal rights? Professor Allen had spent time in Chicago, teaching at Northwestern and the University of Chicago and knew Mr. Stephens. I don't remember exactly what was said in our conversation, but I have a distinct memory of Professor Allen saying, "He's going to be all right."

It's ironic to now hear the media regularly refer to Mr. Justice Stephens as a liberal. He is not a liberal in the mode of Justice Douglas, and he made several rulings with which I disagree. He is a common sense moderate, however, who did not allow partisanship to enter into his decisions. His denunciation of the five Republicans on the court, who stopped the Florida recount in 2000 and ordered George W. Bush installed as president, because continuing the recount would undermine his "credibility," makes him a hero, no matter how much I disagreed on other issues.

You were right, Professor Allen. Mr. Justice Stephens turned out all right.

Son Report: "A Performance For The Ages"

Regular readers know I am never shy about letting you know when reviewers say nice things about Son Number Two's performances with JACK Quartet. In fact, it's probably getting a little old -- at least for Son Number Two. He never lets me know about these things; I have engaged a private investigator, Mr. Google, to relentlessly search the internet and send me an email when it finds something of interest. Last night, I could not believe my eyes at what Mr. Google sent me.

Son Number Two regularly does gigs with other musical groups besides JACK. Sunday, he played with a group called Ne(x)tworks. They did a piece by Morton Feldman, his String Quartet No. 2, which is made up of one movement running six hours long. It was done without any breaks, for musicians or audience, in a new space, Issue Project Room. The Wife and I listened to the performance, which was streamed live on the internet, and it was very listenable music. While SNT was playing, we listened, ate lunch, read the newspaper, went to the hardware store and worked in the yard. I talked with Son Number Two Sunday night after the performance. Although he had water with him, he didn't drink any until after the performance. He told me the problem for him was not getting thirsty or needing to use the bathroom but fatigue. His arms and shoulders were hurting by the time he got finished. (So, you probably think, as I did, he now has a week or two to recuperate. No, he played with a different group Monday night; is scheduled to play with another group tonight; with JACK in New York on Thursday night; then he flies with JACK to California for performances Saturday night, Monday night and Tuesday night. The Monday night performance is sold out.)

So, this is what Mr. Google sent me. A review in the New York Times by Steve Smith in which he concludes that this was "a performance for the ages."  Now that is high praise for any performer, particularly for one just 26 years old.  Did I say I'm proud of my son?

JACK Report: Another New York Times Review

It's time for the monthly New York Times review of JACK. This is the one in today's paper on page C-3. No pictures of JACK, alas.

JACK Report: SOLD OUT

Who says the public doesn't like new music? I see JACK's LA debut on April 19th is SOLD OUT! And it's not like tickets are cheap -- at least by Midwestern standards. They're $27 a pop. Don't despair, people on the West Coast. There are still tickets available for the April 20 performance.